Awakening the Advocate Within Through Persuasive Techniques
Persuasion is that all-important ability to get others to do what you want them to do because they want to do it. Maybe it takes reasoning, coaxing, explaining, or even a plate of brownies still warm from the oven. But whatever it takes, obviously persuasion is what's needed to make things happen." --Dr. Tony Alessandra.
Everyday we advocate for issues in
our lives: getting an increase in pay; a better price
for that new car, bartering for that one-of-a-kind knick
knack at the garage sale; better health care from our
doctors and service providers; even increased attention
from the significant others in our lives.
As a parent, we are never out of our role as an advocate for our child. We protect, nurture, provide and advocate for that child for as long as we are able. And if you are the parent of a child with disabilities, or significant learning struggles, advocating for your child is your daily ritual.
It might begin as early as finding a day care provider that has training in your child's disability and can support that child's needs all day, while you are out earning a living, and will continue until you enroll your child in school.
But, don't lean back in your BARCO lounger at work just yet, thinking that all is right in your child's world. You will need to become an even more knowledgeable and proficient advocate for your child.
You will need to seek the information to help your child's educators understand the specific goals and outcomes you desire for your child's education and how to persuade them to provide services that will meet those goals. Of course there are many protections in place now, in the form of laws and rulings, which will grant your child specific services, and all children, if found eligible, are to be given these services. But, if you find that your child is not receiving the appropriate education, you may have to rely upon your instincts to advocate with the school and to present your point of view or opinion. This can be extremely intimidating for you, seated in a meeting across from educators and school officials, but with a little finesse and the knowledge of persuasive techniques, you will be armed with confidence and better able to address your desires for your child.
• Let's start by preparing yourself
with all the information about your child's needs,
disabilities, or learning challenges. You will want to
be able to speak with Authority about this aspect. Do
your homework; research the internet or family
physician; pick other people's brains and become the
authority on your child. Be sure to project that
authority in a non-threatening manner. Speak honestly
about your desires and dreams for your child and listen
when any suggestions are given to achieving those goals.
By speaking of truth and fairness as shared values, you
reinforce in your listener's mind your own adherence to
these values.
"To be persuasive, you 'sell' yourself and your ideas
every day. You communicate in such a way that you
persuade others to your way of thinking, gain respect
and loyalty, and further your most cherished dreams and
goals."[3] --Bob Brown.
• Be sure that you are informed about what services might be available to assist your child's progress in school. Ask about any special programs or situations that might be better suited for your child, but always remain consistent in your requests. Your requests will be respected by others when they know that your Consistency is unwavering. You are trying to influence the others about your desires, so it would be MORE respectful if you knew exactly in what direction your influence was leading a person. Be consistent!
• Foster Liking. It is common knowledge that people are more likely to have "buy-in" on any proposal if they feel the person selling the information is a friend and not a stranger. People like those who like them. Familiarize yourself with the people that will attend your meeting: their names, positions and what roles they might play in your child's advancement. Be respectful of their positions and ask them for their input or suggestions.
Rapport is a natural function of communication which is brought about by honoring the person with whom you are communicating."
Carmine Baffa
• Reciprocity is often used as a persuasive technique to bring others over to your viewpoint and what you desire to achieve. For instance, maybe one of the suggestions for your child is that the teacher will provide copies of the homework assignments daily, but she has expressed that she may not have time to do that. You might offer to have her email the weekly assignments to you, thereby taking some of the pressure off of her schedule. People are more likely to respond if you can reciprocate with supportive actions of your own.
• Demonstrate to the education team that you have knowledge of services that are effective for other children with similar challenges. Social proof of issues is an effective persuasive maneuver, just as most people tend to follow the lead of their peers. Have information available to them about services that are in use, with statistics, to help them form a more definitive decision about your child's services. Communicating effectively is not about being in control, but about being able to recognize what you are eliciting with your communication, and having the flexibility to adjust accordingly.
Through the use of these simple persuasive techniques, you will be able to communicate more thoroughly and effectively about your child's needs in education. You won't feel overwhelmed by the intimidating nature of any meetings. You will be more confident and self-assured in sharing your dreams and aspirations for your child, and hopefully reach a decision that will assure your child achieves both.
The idea is to inform people into 'yes' rather than coerce or deceive them."
Robert Cialdini
